“Marriage doesn’t make you happy…”

Have you ever asked yourself what being married means? (Or, for the more modern and less traditional couples,  being in a committed relationship).

I always find people’s comments to a bride and groom very interesting. We always wish happiness, joy, and love. But really… they are all completely different ideas, and come from within, more than from marriage itself.  Happiness, as we all know, is fleeting. Usually a momentary event that comes and goes in between the daily grind. Joy is something that comes from within. Something that grows from contentment and peace in your life. Love… now love is a totally separate entity from those other feelings and emotions. Love is something you feel for someone else. Yes, its important to love oneself. But love in a marriage or relationship is all about giving, sharing, and doing for someone else.

Awhile back I remember reading a quote a friend gave me. It said “Marriage doesn’t make you happy. Marriage makes you married.” Marriage is a partnership, a team effort and just like with any team you have to practice. So for those of you who might be getting married soon remember a few things:

1. The more you give, the more you get back. That goes for love itself, acts of kindness, compassion and forgiveness.

2. Communication is key. Hiding or holding something back is like a little black worm in your relationship. Learn to say what you need to…even if its scary, even if its something you know your partner may not want to know or hear.

3. Learn about yourself and give your spouse space to do the same. You may grow together, but you are also separate human beings that need to realize you’re own potential and then you can value each other.

4. Patience… be patient with each other. People grow and change at different rates. People do the things they need to when they are ready. Pushing and trying to change someone will only frustrate you. Your spouse is a whole package. You cannot pick and choose the pieces you like and try to change the rest. Love who they are fully and compassionately.

5. Stay best friends. Always….

Being married should create the space for you to choose to be happy. It should create a place for you to have a wonderful home and friendship, both of which can bring you happiness. The institution of Marriage itself does not do that… You do.

Remember when you are choosing the right spouse, Don’t choose the one you think you can live with, choose the one that you can’t live without!

Now, work together and have yourself a wholesale flower filled life.